DE Weekly: Choices, Freedom, & Authenticity
Below is an archived email originally sent on December 16, 2024.
Choices, Freedom, & Authenticity
“You will never be able to experience everything. So, please, do poetical justice to your soul and simply experience yourself.”
This is a quote from Albert Camus. Like much of what Camus writes, I like it because of its simplicity. Its meaning is also twofold.
First, it’s a succinct answer to many of the questions posed by the existentialists.
Second, it’s a command of sorts. It’s him telling us, “It’s okay to live.” And, as we know of Camus, he believed we have no choice but to live. This is just his way of giving us permission.
Recently, I’ve been thinking quite a bit about choices. Decisions. We make them every day of our lives–some big, some small.
The thing about choices is that each and every one–even the ones which seem insignificant in the moment–culminates in a future as a consequence of those choices.
If you’re like me, you might have thought to yourself before, “How would my life look if I had done X instead of Y?”
What if you took that job instead of turning it down? What if you never broke up with that person, or asked that one out instead? What if you chose a different major in college? What if, what if…
Like so many exercises of the mind, I find the answers of the existentialists to be really useful here. I’ll start with Jean-Paul Sartre, who I know I cite so frequently, but for good reason–he’s simply the best at explaining the intricacies of the philosophy.
Sartre wrote that we are “condemned to be free.” What he meant by this was that we are thrown into life totally free to make our own choices. In recognizing this freedom, we also accept the responsibility for who we are and what we become.
This level of freedom is scary. It awakens a lucid awareness of one’s own responsibility for one’s choices, and how those choices shape our life.
What if I make the wrong choice? What if I mess up? What if I hurt someone? What if I fail? What if, what if…
Here’s the thing: I understand this idea can be frightening. But I believe when you truly understand it, when you truly accept it, it becomes beautiful.
When I make a choice, according to Sartre, nothing compels me to choose one choice over another choice. Nothing except myself.
Let’s say I work a 9 to 5 office job. I hate it. But, I show up for work each day, and do my job pretty well. I might feel compelled to do this. Why? Well, I need to make money to support my family, to have food to eat, a roof over my head. Does doing this job I hate for those reasons mean I am being forced to do it? That I don’t have a choice in the matter?
Of course not! I could walk into my boss’s office, yell “I quit!”, and go chase my dreams of striking it rich some other way.
You see, even when I feel I have no choice but to do something, the choice is always mine to choose something else. For the existentialists, every choice is important, and should serve the same end: making your own meaning in life.
Leo Tolstoy said, “Some people think life is in gluttony, others in the joys of sex, still others in power, and others in worldly glory. They waste their energy on all these pastimes, while in fact people need only one thing: to cultivate their soul.”
I’l explain.
Remember in last week’s newsletter when I mentioned Sartre’s “bad faith”–the idea that refusing to be true to yourself is inauthentic?
This is the same thing.
Becoming authentic–living in “good faith”–starts with grasping the seriousness of your own existence as an individual.
Because you exist, it’s incumbent on you to make something of your own life.
We didn’t choose to be here. Martin Heidegger understood the anxiety that comes from that dilemma. He called our existence “naked… individualized, pure and thrown”. Once we’re aware of this, we ought to understand there’s a weightiness to our lives.
The choices we make matter. The small ones just as much as the big ones. They’re all working toward something.
This is what people get wrong about the existentialists. They misconstrue them as cynics, nihilists, and cold-blooded.
No! The existentialists believed in passion, intensity–these are crucially central to living an authentic life.
We build an identity through our choices. We sustain our identity through repetition of those choices. We can transform our lives with choices–as long as we’re making choices authentically, true to the life we want to live.
Accept the responsibility of your freedom. Own your choices. And make sure they’re leading toward a future you want.
“I never met another man I’d rather be. And even if that’s a delusion, it’s a lucky one.” –– Charles Bukowski
Thanks for reading.
Sincerely,
Brandon J. Seltenrich
P.S.––
I know I mention Sartre a lot. Well, you know how I also mentioned Heidegger in this newsletter? Turns out he was a huge influence on Sartre. So, if you want to see where a lot of Sartre’s ideas springboard from, Heidegger’s a good place to start.
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